Triumph and Defeat
by Stasya
Summary: My account of the night Lily and James Potter died. PG for a bit of kissing. One-shot. Hopefully you'll like my story.


Lily descended the stairs slowly, hesitantly, uneasily. A woman's sixth sense is very powerful, not to mention a witch's sixth sense. But she brushed aside all apprehensive thoughts, choosing to ignore them. With Voldermort on hers and James' trail, their days were numbered. She wanted to enjoy the days she had left.

James lay on the couch wearily, watching lazily as Lily joined him. He subsequently got up and sat down, allowing space for his beloved wife to sit.

"I think Sirius should have been our secret keeper," Lily confided after moments of silence. She sighed, that one sigh holding thousands of worries, and bit her lip like she always did when anxious.

"No offence to Peter, but he _is _rather 'weak'," James assured her, his voice outlined with sheepishness. "Voldermort would never dream that we'd entrust Peter with our secret."

Lily bit her lip once more, emerald eyes downcast. James wondered if he would ever see the sparkle in them like before ever again. He held up her chin with a finger and kissed her closed eyelids.

"Everything will be alright, I swear," he whispered, kissing her lips.

* * *

At the headquarters of The Order of The Phoenix, an impromptu meeting was being held; without Lily and James. They had too much on their minds to have another worry added, Professor Dumbledore reasoned. More than a few agreed with him.

Professor Dumbledore had rather skillfully applied the muggle saying of "beating around the bush", but everyone understood in the end.

There was a spy in their midst. Now the problem was, who?

Sirius suspiciously observed everyone at the table. Few could be trusted in times like that. He even scrutinized Professor Dumbledore, the probable most trusted wizard of all of wizarding England. His keen, doggish sense of smell could sniff out more than food.

Truth to be told, everyone looked guilty to him; but he was probably being paranoid.

"We should tell Lily and James about this," Sirius said firmly at last.

He was assailed by a barrage of protests. Angry words spewed at him from every corner, but he kept his calm.

"We really should; they have a right to know. They'll know anyway," he insisted once the uproar had died down.

Before uproar could rise once more, Professor Dumbledore rose from his seat. "I believe that Sirius is right," he opinioned simply.

His sentence seemed to set the rest reflecting over their thoughts. Finally, it was agreed that the Potters should be informed.

"I'll apparate to the Potters'," Gideon Prewett offered.

"Hogwarts grounds; you can't apparate. I'll pen a letter," Sirius stated matter-of-factly. Glancing at the full moon from a window in the room, a pang of guilt pierced his heart. He really should be with Remus right now, but this was serious business. He would understand.

Peter was still at his hiding place, and no one could know that he was the new secret keeper.

Once realizing that, Sirius made a duplicate of the parchment. "Er- To write to Peter. He should know too."

The aurors, finding nothing wrong with writing to an absent member, nodded affirmatively.

There was a brief silence, save for the sound of quill across parchment, as Sirius hastily scribbled two messages while trying to make his handwriting legible.

_James, Lily_

_Spy in order of phoenix. Be alert. Advised to come over ASAP._

_Sirius_

Peter had gotten a similar letter. Every member read the letter once, and then both were sent to the respective addressees.

"Everyone, I'd like to announce that our new headquarters will be in Gringotts. Tell the temporary password to any of the goblins, and they'll lead you there," Dumbledore announced suddenly.

There were nods of approval from the members.

"Better than having it at Hogwarts," Sirius remarked, "It makes the whole apparating thing a whole load easier."

There was silence.

"We'll hope for the best," Molly Weasley tried optimistically at last.

* * *

Peter received his letter, his mouth gaping with unsuppressed shock.

_Spy in order of phoenix…_

"How did they know?" he thought frantically.

No, the situation was getting out of control. It wasn't safe for him anymore. He had to leave. Trembling, he apparated to his master's meeting place.

He hated to kill. Hated the sight of blood. No- there would be no blood. Just a simple curse and it would be done. He couldn't back out. At least he wouldn't be the one killing his best friend and his son, and that Lily would be spared; but that didn't make him feel any better.

As he apparated, he knew that the dark lord would have only one motive once he knew that people had started to suspect – to eliminate James and Harry Potter.

* * *

The tawny owl's left leg was hexed with the jelly legs jinx. It was the owl delivering the letter to James and Lily Potter.

_Stupid death eater, using such a jinx on a creature of flight like me! I don't need my legs to fly. _

But another was sent whizzing its way – the imperius curse.

Post owls are specially trained to handle jinxes hexes and curses in case anyone tries to intercept letters they are carrying – like this one. But fighting off curses was hard.

The curse hampered its flight significantly. But, the owl had a trait that even magic could not overcome.

It was stubborn.

* * *

Sirius flew to Peter's hiding place via his flying motorcycle, only to find the place devoid of Peter, without any signs of struggle.

"He's supposed to be here!" Sirius said heatedly to no one in particular.

Then he noticed a letter on the floor, out of its envelope. The very letter he had written half an hour ago.

"He was here…" Sirius breathed, "He read the letter, and now he's gone. Don't tell me…Voldermort…Death eaters…"

It then occurred to Sirius that his best friend might have left of his own accord.

"You know Peter," he assured himself, "Maybe he snuck out to get food or something…Guess I'll wait for him here."

And he waited.

* * *

A disheveled owl with wobbly legs and a couple of missing feathers pecked wearily at the window of Lily and James' house.

Lily blinked. "I'll put Harry upstairs, you read the letter first," she decided, ruffling her child's hair affectionately. James nodded.

No sooner had she put the sleeping baby gently in the cradle than she heard a sharp gasp from James. Abandoning all casual paces, she fled downstairs, fearing the worst.

"A spy," James mumbled incoherently.

Lily snatched the letter out of his hands and read it fearfully.

"This is…" she faltered, sinking into the couch.

"Terrible," James finished glumly.

They sat in silence for a while, and then James was shaken into full consciousness by the sound of Lily crying softly.

"I…I know this is c-childish of me, to be crying at such a critical juncture…But so _many _things have happened lately. I can't help not being depressed…" she admitted in between tears.

It broke his heart to see the one he loved crying. He brushed away her tears and hugged her. "It's all right," he told her quietly, "Perfectly all right."

They kissed again.

* * *

After a few minutes of waiting, Sirius was impatient. It was clear, at least to him, that Peter was not going to be returning any time soon.

"How could he forget?" he yelled exasperatedly.

Then he froze. Something was terribly wrong. For placed on the table, obvious to anyone except a git like himself who had been thick enough to overlook it, was the mask of a death eater.

Slowly he picked up the mask, as though as it were a revolting piece of garbage. There was no mistaking the mark of the death eaters near the eye-hole of the mask.

Peter _had _been captured by death eaters, after all. But how did they know that he was the secret keeper? Sirius was mortified. He had to inform James and Lily immediately. The death eaters could be after them any time then…

**And in the meanwhile:

* * *

**

Peter conjured up a mask in replacement of the one he had left at his hiding place.

"Are you ready to go, Pettigrew?" the dark lord said coldly.

Peter nodded nervously, trembling.

"Now, let's pay the Potters a little visit…"

* * *

"It's like we're just sitting here, waiting for him to come and kill us. Won't it be better to just leave? We could stay at Hogwarts. Voldermort would never dare look for us there; not with Dumbledore." Lily said in frustration, her voice rising with every word.

James averted his gaze. "You do have a point," he admitted reluctantly. "Hogwarts is the best place so far."

Lily slumped back into the soft comfort of the couch. Never before had she felt so helpless. "So," she argued, "How long are we going to stay in hiding? Till Voldermort is vanquished? When will _that _happen? He's strong. He's got hundreds of followers. His knowledge of dark magic is…unthinkable. It might be decades before he dies! And are we going to live in fear until then?"

"Perhaps after a few weeks, or maybe months, he won't be after us anymore."

James was startled to hear Lily laugh. Well, it wasn't really, just something between a giggle and a laugh.

"You've always been the optimist," Lily sighed, her moment of carefree demeanor gone in a flash. "But he can't be after us just because he wants us dead; for the mere fun of killing. He's been at it for two whole months. If all he wants out of us is the sadistic thrill of practicing the killing curse, why would he bother chasing us for such a long time? It's definitely got something to do with the prophecy."

Only Lily could come up with such an idea. But it was logical – perfectly logical, James had to admit. Voldermort wanted them dead.

"I thought you wanted to enjoy the days we had left," he countered instead. "Don't be such a pessimist."

It was her turn to look away. "It's so hard," she bit her lip again, "So many things to worry about."

He stroked her hair. He loved the feel of it – silky, smooth and impeccably straight. It was red, too, which more or less explained her fiery temper or "red-headed temper", as Remus had dubbed it.

"Think about Harry," he urged her, "He's a happy thought, that's for sure."

He was delighted to see her smile. "He's the joy of my life," Lily sighed happily. She radiated angelic innocence, as if she were wearing a halo.

"Oh? So where does that put me?" he teased.

Lily pondered over his question for a while. "The love of my life," she concluded firmly at last. He grinned, and then boyishly slung an arm over her. They sat in silence for a while, oblivious to the horrible fate that was to befall them a while later.

* * *

In the meanwhile, Sirius was hurriedly penning a letter to the order.

_Prof. Dumbledore,_

_Peter's been captured by DEs. Don't know why. Found DE mask on table, no sign of struggle. _

_Sirius_

"Damn it!"

There was no owl. Then Sirius remembered that Peter's owl was trained to answer to a certain whistle, no matter where it was.

He whistled.

* * *

James watched from the kitchen window, frozen, horrified and disbelieving as two figures, one tall and the other short, apparated into the yard and stealthily made their way to the front door. He recognized the taller figure only too well. That malevolent demeanor, the red, slit-like eyes...

Voldermort had come.

He was startled further by a strangled noise behind him. Lily.

"He's…he's here," she voiced shakily.

His heart pounded wildly, straining against his ribs. _They were to die for sure. _Time seemed to have stopped for them.

Then suddenly, the gears of time started turning again. "Harry!" Lily gasped. She backtracked and spun round before rushing to the stairs to get her son.

James, in a crazy dash, followed her. She was already halfway up the stairs when…

"We meet again," a cold, sinister voice broke into their thoughts.

Lily inhaled sharply. James narrowed his eyes angrily, yet beneath his armor of anger there was simply soft, vulnerable fear.

Voldermort took his time. The door stayed open, allowing gusts of cold wind to enter and envelop the occupants.

James finally found his voice. "Run, Lily! Take Harry and run!" he shouted at her. She stayed rooted to the spot, her eyes wide with fear. James seemed to have forgotten all the spells he had learnt. Only thoughts of Lily, Harry, Sirius, Remus and Peter ran through his mind.

He tried to apparate beside Lily, but found it impossible. Voldermort must have cast an anti-apparating spell on the house. Now frustration was clouding his senses.

"RUN!" he shouted at Lily.

Voldermort watched, bemused, as a sinister smile warped his features.

Lily finally saw sense in his words. She turned and ran up the stairs faster than she had ever done before. But something made her stop halfway.

Voldermort had taken his first step. First it was the cruciatus curse. James must have dodged it, she concluded as her heart beat with fear, for she heard no screams of anguish. But the next curse was one that left her breathless, heartbroken and helpless.

"Avada Kedavra!"

She could see a green aura hovering in the air. Now she felt as if she could simply collapse to the ground. The love of her life was gone. James was dead, gone. She felt so empty. She felt the tears come to her eyes, and she valiantly fought them off.

James was dead.

But now she had something else to do…someone else, someone important. Someone who would grow up without a father, and possibly without a mother. Now she focused on Harry. Dear Harry, her son…She dashed up the stairs as Voldermort turned his gaze to her.

"You don't have to die, mudblood." She heard his voice come, clear, cold and mocking. "Just give me your son…"

She sobbed and ran into the nursery, breathless and upset. She shut and locked the door, though she knew it would do no good. She wanted to keep away from the horrible danger that lurked behind it for as long as possible.

She ran to the cradle and picked up her crying infant. Soothed him with comforting words. She ruffled his black hair affectionately, crying. He was so much like James.

"I won't let you die," she promised him in a whisper; "Mummy won't let Voldermort take you."

The door opened suddenly, flooding the dim room with light, and breaking her scattered thoughts. "Give me the boy," came that eerie voice again.

In an overwhelming tide of grief she sobbed, and made one last desperate plea. "Please!" Lily screamed, "Don't take Harry…he's just a child, an infant…What would he possibly do to hurt you?"

"Lots of things," Voldermort informed her coldly. "You don't have to die. Just give me the boy."

Lily had abandoned the tactic of begging. It was painfully obvious that Voldermort had not a heart. Bright defiance now shone in her gaze.

"No."

If it were possible, his eyes narrowed even more. "Well, then…" he began softly. Glancing mockingly at the helpless mother in front of him, he sneered cruelly.

Lily couldn't quite put a finger on what she was doing. Common sense told her that he'd still take Harry after he'd killed her, but the mother in her told her that Harry would be all right if she just made this one sacrifice…

She crumbled to the ground as he uttered the fatal words.

* * *

There was a tingling feeling in her spine. Slowly it spread to the rest of her body; but body wasn't quite the correct word.

Lily, startled, saw her _physical _body lying limply on the ground. Then relief broke her mask of fear and shock as she saw James leaning against the wall. She opened her mouth to speak.

"Our…spirits?"

He nodded, looking quite upset. "I think we won't be able to stay here for long…" he faltered, and then motioned towards Harry and Voldermort. "He's just an infant…" he added despairingly. "And he has to die."

Somehow, Lily found herself firmly opposed to James' words. "He won't die. I know he won't." she said softly. She found James looking at her oddly, but turned to look at Harry instead.

Voldermort drew a sharp, ragged breath, wearing an expression of pure ecstasy. "Two months," he breathed, "And I shall finally be rid of this…burden."

Little Harry seemed strangely calm, as though he knew that his parents were still hanging around somewhere, and that he would be alright. His green eyes sparkled in defiance, like Lily's just moments ago. His breathing was calm; his demeanor composed. His mother had told him that he would be alright, and he believed her.

Voldermort, with a gasp of triumph, aimed his wand at Harry's forehead.

"Avada Kedavra!"

James bit his lip in despair as Lily watched with bated breath. What happened could never be aptly described. Sparks flew from the wand, accompanied with eerie green light, rushing straight towards the infant…

But the spell seemed to almost _bounce _off Harry…sending it straight towards the attacker.

Voldermort screamed; it was ear-piercing. His body slowly dissipated into smoke, his voice into silence…

And it all ended.

Harry was alright. All that remained to remind him of that horrible night was a curious, lightning shaped scar on his forehead. But it was over. Over.

"How did you…he…" James breathed disbelievingly.

"Love." Lily explained simply. She didn't know exactly _how _she knew; the word just came to her. But it seemed perfectly logical. It was love that saved Harry.

James hugged her. "Thanks to you, Voldermort is gone, and Harry's still alive," he remarked. She smiled sadly, and then walked towards her son slowly. James followed suit.

"We won't be able to watch you grow up," she started off hesitantly as the infant blinked, almost knowingly.

"But we'll always be there for you." James finished.

"Always." Lily repeated firmly.

With that, they held hands and disappeared collectively.

* * *

Sirius took in everything in a state of shock. James and Lily – dead. He picked Harry up gently and cradled him like a god-father should. "Hey, little critter…Your parents are dead, y'know that?" he told him. His voice was slightly raspy, and he blinked away the tears that threatened to come.

Just then, a large man came – staggering slightly – into the house. He blinked in surprise at the sight of Sirius.

"Orders from Dumbledore," he said importantly, "I'm to give him the boy."

Sirius eyed the man suspiciously. As though reading his thoughts, he produced a card.

_Hagrid Pratchett _

_Gamekeeper of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry _

Under everything was Dumbledore's unmistakable, stylish signature. "Dumbledore gives all Hogwarts staff a card, case anyone doubts our identities. Comes in useful." The man explained gruffly.

Reluctantly, Sirius handed Harry over to Hagrid. Anyone in close association with Dumbledore could certainly be trusted.

"D'you know where 'ter hail a stinking taxi? It's far; walking to Hogwarts from 'ere."

Sirius was surprised. "Apparate, then," he suggested. Hagrid shook his head and turned away.

"Take my motorcycle, then." Sirius offered. "It's faster." He showed Hagrid the flying vehicle and waited for a reply.

After a while, the giant nodded. As he mounted the bike with Harry, he turned to look at Sirius curiously. "You knew the Potters?"

Sirius averted his gaze. "They were my best friends," he explained, desperately hoping that his voice wouldn't give way to tears any time soon. They did.

Hagrid nodded sympathetically. "Same 'ere. They were good folk; an' I know that good folk ends up in heaven." Patting Sirius' back gruffly, he left with a roar of engine.

Sirius watched the retreating motorcycle with Harry on it, then transformed and walked home slowly.


End file.
